Stress or Strength

Watching myself cope with high levels of stress is an interesting exercise. I'm not having any weird out of body experience or anything, but I have noticed my behaviour toward certain things is affected by the anxiety of the task we have before us.

Moving house is always traumatic, and having moved four times since getting married I can say that with all certainty. In actual fact, one move I comment to my husband that he was taking me out of that house in a body bag because I was determined to never to go through that process again. That was two moves ago.

However, moving house AND moving away from the people that you respect and love is one of the most excruciating processes. The idea of a tree change is very romantic, and the promise of relief from the financial pressure of city living encouraging....but saying good bye to dear friends is the toughest part of all. 

As we get closer to the move day (five days away), the enormity of our journey is starting to reveal itself in an ugly tug of war. Excitement of a new beginning in a picturesque part of the country is being pulled by a deep sense of guilt at leaving everyone behind. Relationships have been forged over years, in some cases decades, and as each day passes it becomes harder and harder to say goodbye.

The school community are increasingly aware of this. After resigning from my position in the School Office (a decision I made with tears), I have frequented the school almost daily since - unable to make that last good bye. These are people I love dearly and I am moving away? Just one last conversation, one last coffee, one last farewell hug.... I think they are wondering if we are actually really going (I think I am in denial myself). Even though I know the decision to move is the best one for our family, and one we've been wanting to do since the beginning of our marriage, the parting is the most stressful part of all.

Which is why I went out yesterday to buy shoes. I don't really like to spend money ordinarily (one pair of men's boots, and regular visits to the shoe repairer, kept me in shoes for about five years in the early days) but for two days in a row I have felt the desire to spend money on specific items that I might need in a cooler climate - totally out of character for me. It's as if my big picture brain is taking a leave of absence and I now am surprisingly concerned with the finer detail. 

Like the paper shredder that stopped working last night. With the length of the TO DO list like the one I have, most people would just toss it in the bin. But no, I needed to take it apart, screw by screw in attempt of a surgical resurrection with a pair of tweezers and a bamboo skewer. After an hour and feeling completely satisfied that it was cleared of all jams, it still didn't work so I had to toss it anyway. 

Sometimes the realisation of a character trait is half the battle to help overcome it. An American philosopher, William James, once said "The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another." (Read more quotes here)

So I choose now, not with my own strength but with the strength of a Creator God who I know loves me intensely and is just waiting for me to ask for help. Just like a father, watching his daughter trying to battle it out; waiting for her to remember him and ask for his help which he is delighted to give. So I choose to put aside that natural instinct of avoidance and I will face the task before me, with His strength. "As soon as I pray, you answer me; you encourage me by giving me strength." (Psalm 138:3)

After all, there are only about fifty-something boxes to go....

Embrace It

Today's chaos is brought to you by 'News'. Not the informative, six pm kind but the presentation a seven year old gives to his class once a week. The presentation that is heavily influenced by peer perception and incredibly important to get right. So when our young man mentioned that his friends hadn't met our dog before, of course I volunteered to bring our dog to News.

Take one step back and let me give you the background. In case you haven't seen my earlier posts You've Got to Laugh and Six Days and Counting... we are moving house. And getting a deck built (three months later than expected). Sounds like I need this extra task of taking a dog to school drop-off like a hole in the head, but keep in mind one question - when on a roller coaster do you 1) grip the safety rail till knuckles whiten, or 2) throw your hands in the air and embrace the stomach churning experience?

If only embracing the extra stress was that simple! Hang on a minute, I hear you say, it's just taking a dog to school, how hard can that be? Well, in the process of having this deck built, our side gate had to be removed, though we were promised a solution so our yard would remain fenced. What they didn't explain was this process would take three days (and counting). While packing our life into boxes and trying to keep track of clean uniforms (unsuccessfully), I have a dog that either keeps escaping or we have to renege on our 'dogs belong outside' rule and keep him in. For the last few days, in addition to everything else, I have been either wandering around outside looking for him or tripping over his 30kg frame that somehow always ends up right where I need to step. And trying not to grip the safety rail till my knuckles whiten.

Back to 'News'. Of course, in the excitement of his escapades, pooch had somehow lost his collar (I am tempted to put up Lost posters for it, but then I really will be put in a straight jacket). In searching for the usual missing socks, shoes and other school paraphernalia, I am also searching for a dog collar. Life never gets boring.

Creativity won the day and Miss Nearly-Fifteen worked out a way to use the lead as both collar and lead, so 'News' was saved. Master Seven's friends were able to meet and adore our dog who lapped up the attention (sorry, couldn't resist that one). Meanwhile, I'm off to throw my hands in the air ....and have a stiff drink.

You've just got to laugh

Moving house - there's no attractive way to portray it. It's messy. It's chaotic and it's uber-stressful. Those who've done it are nodding; those who've done it with kids are recoiling at the recollection. So here I write, amidst a thousand boxes and packaging paraphernalia, I have the burning desire to share with you our journey.

My husband and I have always desired a tree-change from the fast-paced Sydney suburban life to the beautiful Southern Highlands in New South Wales, Australia. We thought it would be after our youngest finished school, but here we are - two teenagers and a seven year old, packing up our entire lives and filling out enrolment applications for a new house and school. As I write, I have exactly seven days to fit all of our lives into boxes before the removalist arrives (gulp).

So you can imagine what my tiny three bedroom house looks like right now. A single pathway from front door to kitchen, sideways only down the hallway thank you, and oh, when you get to the bedroom door, you'll have to do a ninja move around the other pile of boxes to actually get into the room.

Stressful enough, wouldn't you say? Well add into the mix the back deck that is currently under construction at our back door (three months overdue), half our yard dug into a mud heap, the necessity to complete several house repairs to be able to put our house on the rental market while still trying to run a household of five, three of which are still at school.

Today we reached a climax of catastrophic proportion. In our rabbit warren of a house, finding uniforms and trying to get lunches made was already a challenge of detective skills and multitasking prowess. Then the electrician arrived to talk lighting for the deck. Then the alarm guy arrived to talk about resetting the codes for tenants. Then the dog got a bit nervous about the strangers in the house and starting pacing, so I was having to dodge tradesmen, husband, dog, children trying to find uniforms. We had slept in so were already running late. The seven year old knocked over a cup of juice by accident in the only thoroughfare from front door to back door. I am cleaning while tradesmen are waiting to get through and somehow I managed to get everyone together and out the door. Juggling an armful of recycling and trying to find neighbours bins that had more room than ours, I dropped a glass jar and it smashed all over the neighbours driveway. It was then that I heard the approaching recycling truck from the next street.....

....and I laughed.