New Shoes

There is one way that I contradict the stereotype of my gender - I'm adverse to shoe shopping. I can't stand it. Of course, I will do it if I absolutely have to, but if there's a chance those boots of mine can be mended by the boot maker one more time, I'll do it. (Until they say it can't be done, which has regretfully happened to me more than once!)

Comfy shoes are way underrated. I would probably wear slippers or ugg boots everywhere if I could get away with it, so when I have a pair of shoes that I have worn in till they fit superbly, I don't like to part with them. Many years ago in my studying days, when money was scarce, I purchased a pair of men's boots (why pay extra to make a fashion statement?) and wore them everyday. Comfortable they were, but worn out they became and by the third trip to the boot maker, he could only look pitifully on me and shake his head. (True story.)

I didn't throw them out at first. When I was wearing in my new boots and trying to get used to the fit, I'd just put on my old boots for a moment, familiarity and comfort enveloping my feet. Then I'd remember that with a bit more time, my new boots will be the same. It kept me persevering.

I'm realising since moving to the Southern Highlands, that friendship can be a little bit the same. I have met some wonderful people since moving, and am looking forward to being part of this new community. However, I am dreadfully missing the trust and familiarity of friends that really know me, warts and all.

Which explains why, in a moment of madness, I decided to travel to my old suburb, on two separate occasions this week. People looked at me like I was wearing mis-matching shoes, wondering if I was joking or truly choosing to do it on purpose. But that was how desperately I needed to feel that comfort and belonging. To have conversations or share memories that need no explaining. To feel the trust of years in confiding our innermost thoughts and feelings. During this process, I was struck with the realisation that these long standing friends were also once new and time had allowed this wonderful bond to develop. It gave me energy and patience to continue building friendships in our new area.

Even though being back for a short time was wonderful, there was still a sense that it wasn't mine any more; no longer my inner circle. These friends will always be family to me (and hopefully I to them) but my home and my heart were elsewhere. My high excitement for the short journey back to old (sorry, I should say long standing) friends was now in competition with my tremendous anticipation of returning 'home'.

So I now face the next stage of our relocation with renewed vigour, motivated by the memory of all that my long standing friends have contributed to me. Unlike the old boots, these won't be tossed (hearing lots of sighs of relief right now!), but get to be a huge part of my journey. And I have the fortunate chance of having double what I had before.